Saturday, October 27, 2007

I wonder if....

The boys have their friends, Matt and Danny, over to spend the night. We set up a tent in the backyard with a complete campsite (my idea--hoping to get some sleep myself). I was doing a little search on the computer listening to Haley running in and out of the house humming and singing to herself, her stuffed animals, etc... That made me think about my boys and how big they are and pretty soon she will be big like that too.

I was thinking about the way she seems to know intuitively the inner workings of the world even though she is only 5 and does not have worldly experience. It made me wonder what happens to us between childhood and adulthood that makes us stop singing to ourselves and listening to the inner voice that gives us intuitive knowledge. Does that voice go away or is it still there, drown out by the busy-ness of life?

I hope that by homeschooling Haley, she will listen to her inner voice longer and sing to herself longer and it won't be beaten out of her by peer pressure or the need to conform to school life. I will be so sad when she doesn't sing while she plays anymore. You know all the little things our kids do, the way they say a certain word or have a certain habit, and then someday you look up and realize they don't do it anymore and you can't remember when it stopped (like Newt calling me "Meme" instead of "Mommy" or Dylan asking for a drink by saying, "I need my here mommy." or Haley asking for toilet papier like she is from France.) I want to pay attention to every day but it's so hard when life is so busy. She is my last "baby" and I don't want to miss a moment of her growing up.

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